TBT0101

so if a photon is directly through a plane with two slits in it and either slit is observed,it will not go through both slits.if its unobserved it will.however, if its observed after it left the plane but before it hits its target it will not go through both slits.

agree ,but whats your point?

its no point.i just think it is a good idea for t shirt

excuse me

hang on

is this the high IQ sperm bank?

if you have to ask, maybe you should be here.

i think this is the place

fill this out

we ll be right back

take your time

i ll just finish my crossword puzzle

i don think i can do that
what, are you kidding? you are semi-pro

no ,we are commmitting genetic fraud, there is no guarantee that our sperms will generate high iq offspring think of that , i have a sister with same basic DNA who hostesses at fuddruckers.
sheldon this is your idea. the extra money to get fractional t-1 bandwidth in the apartment

i know and i do yearn for faster downloads.there some poor women who`s gonna pin her hopes on my sperm. what if she winds up with a toddler who doesnt kown if he should use a integral or a differential to solve the area under the curve?

i m sure she still loved him.

i wouldnt

well ,what do you want to do

i want to leave

ok

whats the protocol for leaving

i dont know, i have never reneged on a proffer of sperm before.

lets try just walking out
are you still mad about the sperm bank?

no

you want to hear the interesting about stairs?

not really.

if the height of single step is off by as little as two millimeters most people will trip

i dont care

two milli that doesnt seem right

no its ture. i did a series of experiments when i was 12 ,my father broke his clavicle.
is that why they send you to boarding school?

no ,that was a result of my work with lasers.

new neighbor,evidently

signficantly improved over the old neighber.

200 pound transvestite with a skin condition?

we dont mean interupte you we live across the hall

oh ,thats nice

we dont live together, i mean we live together but in separate heterosexual bedrooms

welcome to the building

maybe we could have coffee some time

should we have invited her for lunch?

i think we should be good neighbors and invite her over make her feel welcome.

we need to widen our circle

i have a very wide circle,i have 212 friends on my space.

yes, you have never met one of them.

thats the beauty of it.

im gonna invite her over, we will have a nice meal and chat

chat we dont chat at least not offline.

its not difficult, you just listen to what she says and you say something appropriate in respones.

we brought home indian food ,and i know that moving can be stressful and i find that when i am undergoing stress, that good food and company can have a comforting effect.also, curry has natural laxative. and i dont tell you that a clean colon is just one less thing to worry about.

im no expert, but i believe in the context of a luncheon invitation you might want to skip the reference to bowel movement.

o,you are inviting me over to eat?thats so nice ,id love to

well, today,we try masturbating for money.

well, make yourself at home

this is like some serious stuff ,lenoard,did you do this ?

actually this is my work
well its just some quantum mechanics with a little string theory dooding around the edges. that part there,thats a joke its a spoof of the approximation

so youre like one of those beautiful mind genius guys

this is really impressive
this is my board

holy smokes

if by "holy smokes" you mean that a derivative restatement of this kind of stuff you can find in the wall of any man s room at mit, sure,
who hasnt seen this differential below "here i sit, broken-hearted"

at least, i didnt have to invent 26 dimensions just make the math come out

i didnt invent them they are there.
in what universe?

in all of them, thats the point.

do you guys mind if i start?

penny, thats where i sit

sit next to me

no i sit there

whats the difference,here we go, in the winter that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm an no so close to cause perspiration, in the summer, it directly in the pass of the cross-breeze created by the opening windows there and there. it faces the televation at an angle.that is not direct,thus discouraging conversation,nor so far wide to create a parallax distortion. i can go on but, i thing i have made my point.

do you want me to move ?

just sit somewhere else

fine

we dont have a lot of company over

thats not ture.... and .... come over all the time Tuesday and we usually played klingon boggle till 1:00 in the morning

i that you say we dont have company ,that has negative social implications.

thats pro enough about us tell us about you

i m sagittarus which probably tell you way more than you need to know.

yes.it tells you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun s apparent positions relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality

i think what ... is trying to say is that sagittarius wouldnt be your first guess.

i m a vegetarian except for fish and the occasional steak .

lenoard cant process corn

you have some sort of job?

i m a waitress of the cheescake factory

you re lactose-intolerant

i dont eat it i just think its a good idea

anyway i m also writting a screenplay its about the sensitive girl who comes to al from lincoln ,nebraska .to be an actress and winds up as a waitress at a cheesecake factory

i guess thats about it

until i fall in love with jerk

its like as long as a high school

it took you 4 years to get through your high school?

i cant believe i trust him

you ,you could only make it worse

you want to know what is the pathetic part? even through i hate his lying cheating guts,i still love him is that crazy？

it s paradox .paradoxes
are part of nature..think about light. now if you look at huygens ,light is a wave as confirmed by the double slit experiment.but then along comes albert einstein and discovers that light behave like particals too.well, i didnt make it worse.

i am so sorry,i m such a mess,on top of everything else. i am all gross from moving.and my stupid shower doesnt even work

our shower work.

really?would it be totally wired if i used it?

its right down the hall

thanks you guys are really sweet

well this is an interesting development

how so?

it has been some time since we have a woman take her clothes off on our apartment.

thats not ture. rememer thanks giving my grandmother with alzheimer`s had that episole?

point taken, it has been some time since we have had a woman take her clothes off after which we didnt want to rip our eyes out

the worst part was watching her cut that turkey.

so exactly are you trying to acomplish here?that woman is not gonna have sex with you

im not trying to have sex with her

oh good, you wont be disappointed.

what make you think she would have sex with me . i am male and she is a female.

yes ,but not the same species. im not gonna engage in hypatheticals here,i m just trying to be a good neighboor. thats not to say that if a carnal relationship were to develope that i wouldnt participate . however briefly.

do you think this possibility would be helped of hindered when she discovers your luke starwalker no more tear shampoo.
luke is just conditioner

wait till you see this .is fantestic unbelievable.

it is steven hawking lecture from mit in 1974
.
this is not a good time .

its before he became a creepy computer voice.

thats great, you guys have to go

lenard has a lady over.

your grandmother back in town?

no,she is not a lady ,she a new neighboor.

hang on,there really is a lady here? and you want us out because youre anticipating coitus.

please stop saying coitus.

techically, that would be coitus interruptus

is there a trick to getting it to switch form tub to shower

caltech department of applied physics,you may be familiar with some of my work ,its currently orbiting jupiters largest moon taking high-resolution digitial photographs

i will show you the trick of the shower

its french for good shower ,its a sentiment i can express in six languages

all rights. there it goes,it sticks,im sorry.

the hair products are sheldons

can i ask you a favor.

a favor? sure, you can ask me a favor i can do you a favor for you .

its okey if you say no .

i probably say yes

its no the kind of thing you ask a guy you just met.

i really think we should examine the chain of causality here.

must we?

event A,a beautiful woman stands naked in our shower,event B, we dirve halfway across town to retrieve a television set from the aforementioned womans ex-boyfriend,query ,on what plane of existence is there even a semi-rational link between these events?

she asked me to do her a favor.

well ,that may be the proximal cause of our journey. but we both know it onlt exists in contradiction to the higher level distal cause.you think with you penis

thats biological impossibility and you didnt have to come , i could have stayed behind and watch wolowitz try to hit on penny in .... why cant she get her own tv?

come on,you know how it is with breakups ?

no i dont and neither do you

i broke up with ...

you did not break up with ... she defected to north korea.

to mend her broken heart.

this situation is much less complicated.theres some kind of dipute between penny and her ex-boyfriend as to who gets custody of the tv.she just want to avoid having a scene with him

we get to have a scene with him?

no sheldon,theres not going to be a scene.its two of us and one of him

leonard, the two of us can even carry a tv.

so you guys work with ...in the university.

get lost.

ok thanks for your time

we are not going to give up just like that

leonard, the tv is in the building,we even deny access to the building,ergo,we are done.

excuse me, if i were to give up on the first little hitch,i never would have identified the fingerprints of the string theory in after math of the big bang

my apologies,what your plan?

it just a privilege to watch your mind work

come on ,we have a combined iq of 360 which be able to figure out how to get into the stupied building.

what do you think their combined iq is

just grup the door

ill do the taking

good thinking ,i ll just be the muscle.

from intercom

how the hell did you get into the building?

we are scientists

tell him about our iq

my mom bought me those pants

you re going to have to call her

sheldon, im so sorry i dragged you through this

it wasnt my first pants and it wont be the last

you were right about my motives. i was hoping to establish a relationship with penny that might have someday led to sex

well ,you got me out of my pants

anyway i learn my lesson
she is out of my league,im done with her .got my work ,one day,ill win the norble price and then ill die alone

dont think like that ,you re not going to die alone

and you re certainly not going to win a norble price .

there are my favourite place to kick back after a quest，i ve had him since level 10 his name is buttons.anyway if you have your own character,we can hang out and even go on a quest

sounds interesting . so you will think about it ?
i dont think i could stop thinking about it

your ex-boyfriend sends his regard and i think the rest is fairly self-explanatory.

i m so sorry, i really think if you gas went instead of me ,he wouldnt be such an ass

no,it was a valid hypothesis

what is happening to you

i really thank you for going and trying just, you are so terrific，why not you put some clothes on. ill get my purse and dinner is on me ,ok

not to mention imaginary

TBT0102

here we go, no peanuts

but does it have peanut oil?

im not sure

everyone keep an eye on howard in case he starts to swell up.

since its not bee season ,you can have my epinephrine

are there any chopsticks.

no need chopsticks, this is thai food.

here we go

thailand has had the fork since the latter half of the 19th century.interestingly,they didnt really put the fork in there mouth. they use it to put the food on a spoon which then goes into their mouth

ask him for a napkin. i dare you ill get it.

do i look puffy?i feel puffy.

am i interrupting?no

you re not swell,howard

look at my fingers ,theyre like vienna sausages

sounds like you have company

so you come home from work thats great ,how was work?

well you know,its a cheesecake factory, people order cheesecake and i bring it to them

so you kind of act like a carbonhydrate delivery system

call it whatever you want,i get minimum wage .i was wondering if you could help me out with something

yes

i am having some furniture delivered tomorrow.and i may not be here

havent you ever been told how beautiful you are in flawless russian ?

yes i havent

get used it

yes ,i probablt wont

dont take it personally, its his pathology,he cant talk to women .

he cant talk to atractive woman, or in your case a cheesecake-scented goddess

so there is gonna be some furniture delivered?

yeah,if it gets here and im not here.could you sign for it and have them put it in my apartment?

good ,heres my spare key.thank you

if you dont have any other plans,do you want to join us for thai food and a superman movie marathon?

marathon?well ,how many superman movies are there?

you re kidding,right?

i do like the one where lois lane falls from the helicopter and superman swooshes down and catches her. which ont was that?

you realize that scence was rife with scientific inaccuracy.

no ,lets assume that they can. lois lane is falling accelerating at an initial rate of 32 feet per second per second. superman swoops down to save down to save her by reaching out two arms of steel. miss lane who is now traveling at approximatlt 120 miles an hour. hits them and is immediately sliced into three equal piece

unless superman matches her speed and decelerates

in what space,sir?shes two feet above the ground.frankly, if he really loved her,hed let her hit the pavement.itd be a more merciful death

excuse me .your entire argument is predicated on the assumption that supermans flight is a feat of strength.its the extension of his ability to leap tall buildings and ability he derives from exposure to earths yellow sun

yes ,you dont have problem and how does he fly at night

a combination of the moons solar reflection and the energy storage capacity of kryptonian skin cells

i just gonna go wash up

i have 2600 comic books in there. i challenge you to find a single reference to kryptonian skin cells

challenge accepted ,we re locked out

also the pretty girl left

her apartments on the fourth floor but the elevator is broken, so

you re just gonna be done ? we ll just bring it up ourselves

i hardly think so

why not

well we dont have a dolly or lifting bells or any measurable upper-body strength

we dont need strength,we are physicists, we are the intellectual descendants of archimedes
give me a fulcrum and a lever and i can move the earth,its just a matter of i dont have this

archimedes would be so proud

do you have any ideas

yes, but they all involve a green lantern and a power ring

now ,we have got an inclined plane.the force required to lift is reduced by the sine of the angle of the stairs
call it 30degrees so about half
exactly half.
lets push
all in the math
whats your formula for the corner
just come up here an help me pull and turn

Ah, gravite, that art are a heartless bitch

you do understand that our efforts here will in no way increase the odds of you having sexual congress with this woman

man do things for woman without expecting sex

those would be man who just had sex

i am doing this to be a good neighbor

in any case, theres no way it could lower the odd all most there

no we re not
watch your fingers

you are ok?

great caesar s ghost look at this place

so phenny is a little messy

this is chaos

explain to me an organizational system where tral of flatware on a couch is vaild .i m just refering this is a couch because the evidence suggests the coffee table is having a garage sale

did it ever occur to you that not everyone has the compulsive need to sort, organzie and label the entire world around them

hard as it may be for you to believe most people dont sort their breakfast cereal numerically by fiber content

excuse me, but i think we have both found that helpful at times

come on we should go

hang on

im strightening up

this is not anyone s home this is a swiring vortex of entropy

when the transvestite lived here ,you didnt care how he kept the place

because it was immaculate i mean, you open that man s closet it was left to right evening gowns cockrail dresses, then his police uniforms

what were you doing in his closet

i helped him run some cable for a web cam

this just arrived, we just brought this up, just now

great, was it hard getting it up this stairs
well get out of your hair

penny, i just want you to know that you cant live like this i m here for you

whats he talking about

its a joke

i dont get it

ye he didnt tell it right
are you insane,you cant just break into a woman s apartment in the middle of the night and clean

i have no choice i couldnt sleep knowing that just outside my bedroom was our living room and just outside our living room was that hallway and immediately adjacent to the hallway was this

do you realize that if penny wakes up ,there s no reasonable explanation as to why we re here

i just gave you a reasonable explanation

no you gave me an explanation its reasonableness will be determined by a jury of you peers

dont be ridiculous, i have no peers

we have to get out of here

you might want to speak in a lower register

evolution has made women sencitive to high-pitched noises while they sleep so they ll be roused by a crying baby, if you want to avoid waking her , speak in a lower register

thats ridiculous

i accept your premise. now please lets go

im not leaving until im done

if you have time to lean you have time to clean

oh whats the hell

i have to say i slept splendidly ,granted, not long but just deeply and well

i m not surprised, a well-known folk cure for insomnia is to break in your neighbors apartment and clean

sarcasm

granted, my methods may have been somewhat unorthodox,but i think the end result will be a measurable enhancement to pennys quality of life, you ve convinced me.

maybe tonight we should sneak in and shampoo her carpet

you dont think that crosses a line? yes

for gods sake

should i have hold up sarcasm sign every time i open my mouth?

you have a sarcasm sign?

do you want some cereal?i feel so good today. i m gonna choose from the low-fiber end of the shelf

really, more to organize ,you re not acutally dirty perse.

give back my key

do you understand how creepy this is ?

oh ,we discussed it at length last night.

in my apartment, when i was sleeping?

and snoring, and that s probably just sinus infaction.

and what kind of doctor removes shoes from asses?
depending on the depth

penny i think what you re feeling is perfectly vaild and maybe a little bit later when you re feeling a little less...for lack of a better word-violated. maybe we can talk about this some more. stay away from me. sure ,thats another way to go.

penny hold on just to clarify,because there will be a discussion when you leave.is your objection solely to our presence in the apartment while you were sleeping. or do you also object to the imposition of a new organizational paradigm.

well, that was a little non-responsive

you are going to march yourself over there right now and apologize

whats funny?

that wasnt sarcasm?

boy,you are all over the place this morning

i have a masters and two phds i should not have to do this ,i m trully sorry for what happened last night ,i take full responsibility, and i hope it will not color your opinion of leonard who is not only a wonderful guy but also i hear a gentle and thorough lover
i did what i could

hey listen, i dont know if you heared about what happened last night with .... but i really upset about it i mean they just... they let themselves in my place and they cleaned it can you even believe that? how weird is it?

she is standing very close to me, she dose smell good. what is that？vanilla？

where i come from , some one comes in your house at night you shoot.and you dont shoot to wound . well , my sister shot her husband. its an accident they were drunk, what was i saying?

she s so chatty,maybe my parents are right, maybe i m better off with an indian girl.we have the same culture background and my wife could sing the same lullabies my mother sang

i mean just because must of the man i have known in my life happen to be jerks .doesnt mean i should assume leonard and sheldon are

she ask me a question, i should probably nod

thats exactly what i thought ,thank you for listening you re a doll

turn your penvis

grab a napkin,homie,you just got served

its fine,you win

whats his problem

his imaginary girl friend broke up with him

been there

but i was in the hallway chatting up with penny

actually, i was less the chatter than the chatee

what did she say? is she still mad about me ?

well she was upset first, but, probably because her sister shot sb,then there were something about you and then she hugged me

how she hugged you

is that her perfume i smell?

intoxicating isnt it?

whats going on?

here s the thing, penny, just as oppenhemer came to regret his contributions to the first atomic bomb,so to i regret my participation in what was at the very least an error in judgment. the hallmark of the great human experiment is the willingness
to recognize ones mistakes. some mistakes such as madam curie discovery of radium turn out to have great scientific potential even though she would die a slow painful death from radiation poisoning. another example,from the field of ebola research

we are ok

six two inch dowels
one package phillips head screws

i rebuild a tractor engine when i was 12,i think i can put together a cheap swedish media center

no please, we insist. its the least we can do,considering.

considering what, how great this place looks

o, boy i was afraid of this .this instructions are a pictographic representation of the least imaginative to assemble these components,these right here is wht sweden has no space program

it looks pretty good in the store

but its an inefficent design, for example, she has a flat screen tv which means all over the spaces behind it is wasted.

we could put stereo back there

but control it how?

run a infrared repeater.photo cell here,emitter here.easy-peasy.

good point, how you gonna cool it

hey guys, i got this

hang on, how about fans, here and here

also, ineffecient, that might be loud

how about liquid coolant？maybe a little aquarium pump here, and some quater inch PVC. gus this is actually real simple. PVC comes down here.

i think i just take off my clothes.

meet back in an hour

0103

all right, just a few more feet.

dont panic. this is what the last 97 hours have been about

stay frosty, theres a horde of armed goblins. on the other side the gate guarding the sword of asaroth

warriors unsheathe your weapons, magic wielders, raise your wands

lock and load

blow the gates

blowing the gates

dont stand there, slash and move

stay in formation

you got one on you tail

i ll swat him off

the night i spice my mead with goblin blood

no its a trap,theyre flanking us

hes got me

use your sleep spell

good bye peasants

the bastard teleported

im a rogue night elf, dont you people read character descriptions

somebody just click buy it now

im all sweety.anybody want to log on the second life and go swimming?i just built a virtual pool.

i cant look at you or your avatar right now

sounds like your neighbors home.

dont forget the mail you took accidentally on purpose so youd have an excuse to talk to her

stealing snail mail, very old school. i like it

civil servants have documented propensity to , you know,snap so.

penny for your thoughts ?

whats the matter?

the guy she s kissing is really fine

kissing what kind of kissing? cheeks ,lips ,chase french?

please dont tell me that your hopeless infatuation is devolving into pointless jealousy

im not jealous, im just a little concern for her

i dont like the look of the guy that she was with
looks better than you

he was kid of dreamy

well at least you can retrieve the black box from the twisted smodering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her and analyse the data so you dont crash into geek mountain again.

i dont agree. love is not a sprint, its a marathon.relentless pursuit until that only ends when she falls in to your arms or hits you with the pepper spray.

im done with penny ,i will be more realistic and go after someone on my own speed

like who?

the dietician at the cafeteria with the limp and the lazy eye? i dont think you have a shot there. i have noticed the ...recently started shaving her legs. now given the winter is coming, one can assume she s signaling sexual availablity

i dont know, you guys work in the same lab

there are pitfalls. when it comes to sexual harassment law , im a bit of self-taught expert.

if i were to ask... out, we just be for dinner. im not going to walk into the lab, ask her to strip naked and dance for me .

then you probably okey.

hello...i want to propose an experiment. goggles hang on.